EGO: THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY
Ego is something we deal with everyday, whether it’s your own or someone else’s. But rarely is it ever considered anything other than a character flaw. On the surface, maybe, but there is more to ego than what meets the eyes. TNM thinks that there are three sides to this phenomenon.
Ego beyond your control destroys you. However, having an ego when it is not sabotaging your career and friendships might have a lot of positives to it. Then there’s the ego that is as significant to you as a fly is when it’s buzzing on a water buffalo’s rear. Whatever the case, ego is an inherent character in every human being, so you might as well make the best of it.
Here are a few scenarios that you might be able to relate to.
You and your partner are walking along Basantapur, holding hands. Everything’s perfect. The birds are chirping, violins are playing in the background and love is in the air. She is wrapped around your arm, and you can feel her warm breath in your chest. Everything is going well, until she casually mentions how cute that guy over there is. “He’s cute, don’t you think?”
You try to play it cool and brush it off. But there’s this nagging feeling inside that begins to broil over. You try desperately, but can’t help but pass a snide remark that definitely had a hint malice.
“Maybe you’d like to go out with him then?”
That nagging feeling, if you haven’t already deduced, is your ego rearing its ugly head. Neither is she questioning your manhood nor is she not going to jump ship. And you know that very well. The bug might just be in your head. It’s good to come to terms with the fact that there will always be better looking guys than you. But she’s with you and that’s what matters. There’s nothing wrong with noticing another man, as long as she is committed to you and is not going to ACTUALLY run off with him! Letting your ego get in the way will only spark off an argument that ruins the beautiful moment. Brush it off and move on, she meant nothing by it. If anything at all, you get a free pass to gawk at the hot girl that just passed by wearing a short sundress.
Letting your ego get in the way will only spark off an argument that ruins the beautiful moment.
Mr. Ego shows his presence in us is so many other instances. The ‘unfunny clown’ is another classic example which helps exemplify how you can channel your ego positively.
You might love cracking jokes and being the funny man in a group, but that does not necessarily mean you’re good at it. Maybe other people don’t have a sense of humor that levels with yours, or your jokes really aren’t that funny. Regardless, being funny is your thing, it always has been. An awkward silence in a group can always do with a rib tickling joke and on this particular day, you decide the situation could do with a funny one. You lay one of your jokes and wait for a heaving roar of laughter. On this particular day though, your comic timing might be slightly off and all you get are a few pity laughs. Someone decides to call you out. “Dude, your jokes are lame.”
Nothing’s funny anymore. The awkwardness escalates and you have the urge to defend yourself. It’s not your fault some people’s funny bone is up their ass! The last thing you’re looking for now is a laugh, and there’s a fury boiling inside you that is anything but funny.
You thought you were a funny guy, doesn’t this go against everything you thought you were? Everyone is entitled to their opinion and your negative reaction isn’t going to change that. The only thing that will change is everyone’s perception of your attitude. Wouldn’t it be better to just let the comment sink in and just think about it? Maybe he was right. Maybe you aren’t as hilarious as you thought you were. Maybe you should just take it down a notch. Or, better yet, you could counter with a sarcastic and funny retort that makes him feel like he was never born. Nothing is more motivating than a bruised ego, which is if you use it to your advantage.
This implies in various other situations as well. Nothing is a better example than losing out to competition. You can be bitter and blame the circumstances, you can accuse people of being unjust or you can feel demotivated. But that ought not to be the case. Instead of sulking around you can use it as a push to strive through. We work harder to polish our skills. We take it as an inspiration to be better. We excel. So when you think about it, having an ego is not a bad thing after all. It acts as an accelerator for you to be a better version of yourself.
When you think about it, having an ego is not a bad thing after all. It acts as an accelerator for you to be a better version of yourself.
But, as we all know, that isn’t always the case. There is a reason why man’s ego has a dodgy reputation. It has destroyed countless friendships, relationships and careers. Ego has a way of bringing out the worst in people. It turns someone into the most bitter and unpleasant version of themselves without them being able to control it.
SO WHAT IS THE VERDICT?
Too much of ice cream too fast will give you a brain freeze. But at the same time, just because you are going to get a headache with that ice-cream doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t have it altogether. If your ego is in your control; if you’re keeping your ego in your advantage, kudos to you bro! Keep the spirits up! But if it turns you into the obnoxious chap, do something about it! You cannot walk around thinking that the world revolves around you! Try and respect what others say. Spend time in understanding others. If something is bugging you, the solution isn’t sulking and mopping around like a baby. The solution is to talk it out and seek suggestions. You don’t want people to think of you as the grumpy, unpleasant dude with severe attitude problem. On the flip side, if you aren’t using your ego at all, it’s high time you start. Being the naïve, gullible guy hinders your progress and you don’t want that to happen. Just believe that you can do better, and you are worth it. The rest will follow!