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MARRIAGE SURVIVAL TIPS

Not many married men talk very highly of a married life and for good reason too. It’s no walk in the park. You need to remember that in our society, you’re not just marrying your wife, you are bringing two families together. Things will change, and not always for the better. So, it’s no wonder that men whine so much. But most men who complain about their married life might not have had the right guidance to get through things as smoothly as it should be.

Well, you’ve finally decided to settle down and live the life of a married man so it is imperative that you get the right guidance. You don’t want to be the same guy who keeps bitching about how married life sucks do you? Good. Read on.

DURING THE WEDDING

Let’s begin at the starting line. Our traditions include a painstaking amount of rituals and formalities during the wedding. It can be tiresome but there is no escaping it. Here are a few pointers to keep in mind.

Patience: It is a virtue you will need to acquire for the wedding. Rituals are always a bore and your own wedding will hammer the point home. Your best bet is to stay calm and do as you are instructed. It will all be over soon.

No Alcohol: We’ve seen more cases of the drunken groom than we’d liked to have, and none of them end well. Refrain from drinking at your own wedding. All eyes are on you and there are a lot of things you have to do before the ceremonies are over. You don’t want to slur your mantras do you?

Don’t invite your ex: No good can come from it. It’s something in your past and we’re sure your ex girlfriend won’t mind being uninvited.

The Pranks: It’s a fun tradition to pull a few pranks on the groom. It might not be fun for the groom though. There are two ways you can tackle this. You can either outsmart your pranksters by staying a step ahead. Or you can be the bigger man and let the wife’s side of the family have some fun. You will have to shell out a little more cash, but it might help bring some fun.

THE IN-LAWS

The chances of you getting along splendidly with your in-laws are slim and narrow. They will always treat you with the utmost respect and you will always duly reciprocate. Majority of this will, though, be a façade both parties put on in the presence of each other. Of course, this might not be the case and you actually love your in-laws and they love you right back. Whatever the case is, it is important that you tread cautiously when it comes to your in-laws.

First Impressions: First impressions last, and when it comes to yours in front of your wife’s family, you need to be right on the marl. So, put on your goody two shoes and behave yourself. It’s not necessary that you kiss ass but be sure you don’t offend anyone or give any room for negative judgments. As far as everyone knows, you are the ideal husband who can provide for his wife with as much (if not more) love and care than her parents could.

Respect: Always respect your wife’s family, and not just for the sake of it. As traditional and obsolete as this may sound, you are officially agreeing to take your wife’s family as part of your own. Also, you should be courteous enough to think of your wife’s feelings. She will want you

to get along with her family, and showing some respect shouldn’t be too much to ask for. It is the gentlemanly thing to do.

Be careful not to bad mouth your in-laws in front of your wife, or anyone. Well, maybe apart from your closest buddies; that too if you really can’t avoid it. If you do have any criticisms, you can open up to your wife about later in the marriage.

Smile and Nod: If you have any opinions that might create some negativity, keep it to yourself. If your in-laws suggest that your Santro is no longer a suitable means of transportation and you should upgrade to a Ciaz, just smile and nod. The best part is, as long as you keep the in-laws thinking that you agree with everything they say, they will be happy. Later, you can do whatever you want because they can’t really control you.

Ask her to help: You and her family are on two completely different levels and it might be difficult to get along right off the bat. The best thing you can do is ask for some pointers from your wife on how to get on the better side of your in-laws. You can enquire about topics they like to discuss and their view points regarding things you can discuss with them.

Maintain a distance: You do not necessarily have to be overly friendly with your wife’s family. If it comes naturally, it’s all well and good, but there are some things that are best kept within boundaries. For instance, you shouldn’t drink too much with your father-in-law. Even if he insists, limit yourself to one drink. Trust us on this one; it always works out for the best.

You can’t please everyone: It is your job to do your best to be a gentleman. But sometimes you just can’t make everyone happy. Accept it and keep doing what you are doing.

NO MORE CHUGGING FROSTY GLASSES OF BEAR AND BELCHING OUT THE ALPHABETS IN FRONT OF OTHER PEOPLE.

THE CHANGES

Once you bind yourself in the holy bounds of matrimony, you will have to come to terms with the fact that things are going to change. You can no longer act like the happy-go-lucky bachelor who live life in the moment. You are a responsible man now and you should act like one. That doesn’t necessarily mean you need to become a complete bore, but you need to implement a few changes.

Stay Classy: You are a married man now and you need to act like a respectable one. This means you need to leave the bachelor act behind. No more chugging frosty glasses of bear and belching out the alphabets in front of other people. Ditch the crass language and adopt a calmer, respectable demeanor. This also means that you don’t fight or talk too rudely with your wife in public. Matters between the wife should be resolved within enclosed walls.

Finances: You need to manage your finances better now that you have entered a married life. If you haven’t started yet, there is no better time to begin saving money. You will want to start a family and create a bigger, better future. So no more free round of drinks for the guys or mindless splurging on boy toys. This applies even more during the first decades of marriage where you will just be starting to establish some stability, (May not apply as strongly if you have money to burn)

Bros before Hoes no mo’: First and foremost, you cannot refer to your wife (or any woman in that matter) as a hoe. Coming to the point; you are no longer just one of the lads. Your responsibilities lie with your family, your wife. This does not mean that you have to completely abandon your friends; you just need to prioritize your wife ahead of them.

You can still hang out with them and have fun. If the situation and people allow you to, it can be very advantageous to include your wife into your friends circle. Introduce her to your friends and you can hang out together. You will be killing two birds with one stone.

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TNM Team

"The strength of the team is each individual member. The strength of each member is the team." TNM is a premiere men’s magazine providing complete coverage of inspirational stories, fashion and culture from across Nepal. With its unique and powerful design, work from the finest photographer, spectacular writers and a pro- active Marketing team TNM reaches thousands of leading men each month. We are team that believes in giving its readers a thought-provoking experience each and every month.