**PARENTAL ADVISORY: THIS IS SERIOUS ADULT CONTENT FOR MEN AND NOT MEANT FOR THE EASILY OFFENDED. WE ARE GETTING DOWN AND DIRTY HERE!!

Haven’t you all pictured receiving the most mind-blowing blowjob? Guess what? Your girlfriend/wife is probably wishing the same thing too! One of the positives of going down on a woman is that it is one of the surest way for her to reach an orgasm. She gets to lay back, enjoy and relish you paying all that attention to her. Many women find it relaxing as the focus is solely on her pleasure. While it means just “going down” on a partner for some people, it includes deep continuous kisses and licking all over a partner’s body. Here, I will talk about everything!

What is Oral Sex?

Oral sex or oral intercourse is defined as the sexual activity involving the stimulation of the genitalia of one person by another person using the mouth including the tongue, teeth or throat. While Fellatio is oral sex performed on a male, it is called ‘Cunnilingus’ when performed on a female. So basically, like everything else in sex, the skills and the art of giving your partner great oral sex too lies with you. You are the man who can bring your girl to heights of pleasure by exploring the depths of her holy grail.

Getting Started

One thing to keep in mind is that not every woman is comfortable with the concept of oral sex, especially when it comes to her privates. Some women can climax easily with oral sex while some find it less enjoyable than other sexual activities. Your partner might be concerned about the smell & taste, the pubic hair and the general appearance of her privates. So talk to each other about your expectations, interest and anxieties before you do the deed. If you are practicing oral for the first time, give yourself time to ease into it. You can do this by starting off with small sessions where it becomes a part of foreplay. Take away any pressure to reach an orgasm.

You are the man who can bring your girl to heights of pleasure by exploring the depths of her holy grail

Begin From The Top

Kissing in itself is an art. Your kissing style may convey many things to your partner. In fact, it may even hint at how good you are going to be in bed! While tasting fresh is a major turn on, a smoky tobacco after taste could be a complete turn off. Keep it interesting – your tongue should be exploring, teasing, and calling out to your partner to give you more. But don’t shove your tongue down your partner’s throat! Once you’ve got her ready to get the show on the road, then move south and beyond. Use your mouth and tongue to caress, lick and suck various parts of your partner’s body like the nipples, fingers, neck. Don’t miss out on any check points.

Down To The Nitty Gritty

Gently lick and kiss her C-spot. Some women like direct stimulation while for others it may be too sensitive. Although the clitoris is one of the most sensitive body parts, it is not to be used as a bull’s eye. Move into it slowly by focusing on her inner thighs and vagina. She may even like some manual penetration in the process. As it is all up for grabs, being open and communicating well with each other is one must-ave during the oral. You can tell if she likes it by her verbal or non-verbal responses. Use your fingers to stimulate other parts of her body as you go down on her. Experiment with pace and pressure so you both know what she likes. Above all, enjoy yourself. After all, you are headed towards making some one VERY VERY happy!

The Major Concern

Both of you may be worried about not smelling right or tasting good. Each person’s body chemistry is unique and you can’t really change the composition of your body fluids. But one’s diet can affect the taste/smell of their fluids. While showering regularly or before sex could affect the taste, using douches or other feminine hygiene products may paradoxically make things worse. You could try experimenting with each other to see if cutting out on drinking and smoking makes a difference to your taste and smell. There are those who swear that having healthy foods keeps you tasting nice. Some immediate remedies can be using dental dams and flavored lubricants to mask the taste. But like I said earlier, we each have our own taste/smell and when you really like/love the person, it can be incredibly arousing!

Experiment with pace and pressure so you both know what she likes. Above all, enjoy yourself.

Well, this is oral sex in a nutshell. Though it can be absolutely fun, remember that there are always health risks associated with oral sex as well. Many STDs, including HIV, can be transmitted through blood, breast milk, semen and vaginal fluids. So to be safe, it is always advised to know your partner, their sexual history and share yours too. If there are any doubts, you should get yourselves tested regularly especially if one of you is not in a monogamous sexual relationship. Both partners need healthy doses of acceptance, communication and enthusiasm to make the most out of this highly pleasurable act. And most importantly, remember to take your time! It could last 5 minutes or 20, but it will lead to a mind blowing orgasm to prep you up for other exciting sexual activities.

With these particular in mind, the ball is now in your court to enjoy and kickass at it…

Chari is a Public Health consultant who has a special interest and work experience in the field of reproductive and sexual health. She also hosts a radio program on rvlradio called turn it on.