THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER GOOGLE
Google revolutionized the modern world in ways that were unimaginable in the past. The entire world and everything about it is always only a click away. With Google, there are no questions that need be left unanswered. The first thing you do when you don’t know something is ‘Google’ it. However, some things in this world are better left unknown, like the ones listed below.
[Warning: Be advised, these are not for the faint of heart. Search at your own risk]
This one, by definition, is a fear of holes. A fear of clustered holes, to be more precise. It does not seem to be too alarming or cringe worthy by description. However, you will be singing a different tune once you image search it on Google.
MUSCLE DADDIES: We had to learn this one the hard way. There isn’t much use in narrating how we ended up searching for the term, but we assure you it was pure co- incidence. If muscle bound naked men are your cup of tea, Google away. We recom- mend you ease into it by making sure your ‘Safe Search’ filter is on at first.
2 GIRLS ONE CUP: These sort of things have a way of making their way around the internet, and chances are, you might already be familiar with this ‘craptivating’ video clip. The title lies to the viewers by omission: there are two girls, there is one cup but what they do with the cup will have you contorting and convulsing in disgust. Let’s just say, of all the things 2 girls could do with one cup, this has to be the most bizarre of them all.
Extra Info: It turns out, the video is a trailer to the full movie “Hungry B*tches”. Also, you can try searching for ‘4 Girls Finger Painting’. And you guessed it, it’s not an art craft tutorial.
TUB GIRL: Of all the pornographically delicious things a girl could do in a bath tub, this one lands dead last on the list; no questions about it. Unless you can think of anything more disgusting than a woman with explosive diarrhea laying in her own filth, this is the height of disgustingness. Cringe Factor:
2 KIDS ONE SAND BOX: The most deceptively titled video in the internet has to be ‘2 kids one sand box’. It’s hard to be- lieve something that sounds so innocent can make you want to gouge your eyes out. The video has a man screaming in pain, and rightly so, as a woman shoves a large object into the man’s penis. Yes, it sounds physi- cally impossible, which might be the reason why the man was screaming murder. Best of luck, you’ll need balls of steel to get through this video.
BLUE WAFFLE (DISEASE): Some of us here always wanted to try out this western breakfast cuisine. Not anymore. Yet again, there is no logical relationship between the name and the result. Google image search this and try not to gag as you watch yourself hate something you always thought was so beautiful.
3 GUYS ONE HAMMER: [WARNING]
Of all the things in this list, this one is definitely the most shocking; in the sense that the seriousness of the video surpasses those of the others. This is a real video of a man being gruesomely killed, filmed using a cellphone by Dnepropetrovsk Maniacs, a group of your Ukrainian teen boys who brutally murdered 21 people with a ham- mer and a screwdriver. This is a horrific, likely the most graphic and violent video on the internet. Be warned, the video, is very upsetting.
Krokodil is a nasty homemade version of the narcotic painkiller desomorphine. It is notorious for the ghastly side effects caused by its corrosive contaminants, including abscesses and gangrene. In case you’re thinking of searching this one for yourself, be prepared to see some gory effects of the drug on people.
HARLEQUIN ICHTHYOSIS: For once, the results of the search are as alien as they sound. Harlequin ichthyosis is a severe ge- netic disorder that mainly affects the skin. Infants with this condition are born with very hard, thick skin covering most of their bodies. These skin abnormalities affect the shape of the eyelids, nose, mouth, and ears, and limit movement of the arms and legs.