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WHAT MEN SHOULD KNOW ON YOUR KNEES GET SET GO

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It is no news that the rules of dating are changing. Singles and couples experiment, they see each other, date, get exclusive, opt for open relationships, become friends with benefits or just remain friends.

Every other week a new definition for a slightly different relationship pops up and I actually have a hard time keeping abreast to it all. In the end, I decided to not try and understand what is going on but just resign myself to the fact that human beings need some kind of companionship and sometimes we just have to let things be.

Alas, as a woman, I just cannot let this topic be. It is extremely important (for us women at least) and it is about time men stop ignoring it. It is a small act that happens before a woman commits her mind, body and soul to a man forever and ever. The act of acceptance! And that my man, can only happen if you get down on one knee and PROPOSE!

And please do not hide behind the “We are Nepali” or “It is an arranged marriage” excuse. I rather like arranged marriages and feel arranged marriage is an even better situation to actually propose. You have the family’s approval and you know the girl is not going to reject you, so what do you have to lose? Just start your relationship with a little spark, some romance and a lot of originality.

So, the question arises, how do you propose? What should a man do? If you have been in a relationship for years, you should know your girl by now and that should be enough cue to what you should do. Each girl has her own preferences and concept for what is acceptable as romantic and what is not. I have a friend who thinks the biggest ring is the most essential thing in a proposal and yet another friend who feels that it is not the ring but sincere words describing her relation with her man that is most important. Therefore, when you sit down to think about how you should propose, sit down and think about your girl.

Think about her favourite movie, the scene she cried on, the moment she kept gushing about. Think about her planning something for her friends or for you. Chances are she will most likely treat her closed ones, the way she likes to be treated. Remember my friend who wants the biggest ring? She is also the one who loves getting gifts and cards from others. Her way of showing love is through gifting and thus, a wonderful gift (aka ring) seems awesome to her. On the other hand, my friend who wants to hear the most beautiful words being dedicated to her is actually really good at expressing gratitude and love to her near and dear ones. The simplest way to figure out what a girl wants is to observe what she gives others.

Do not shy away from the pressure. Perfect, near to perfect or a dismal failure, the current Nepali man will get brownie points for just thinking and planning it out. Trust me when I say, all women secretly want the awesome proposal and whether it is right or wrong, it will remain very special.

Here are a few tips to help you journey further on.

  • First of all, get to know the girl. Play 21 questions, ask her about her favourite movies, books, characters, destinations, anything !
  • If she likes the mountains, whisk her off to Manang or Lukla or if we are a little tight on budget, whisk her off to the hills nearby the valley, make sure you carry an extra jacket, blanket and gloves. Get some nice hot chocolate or coffee and propose while you watch the sunrise above the mountains.
  • If your girl is a water baby, head down to the nearest affordable beach country, but if that is not possible than our dear Pokhara is a good option. If she likes to hike then Phoksundo is a viable choice as well. Choose a warm time of the year, use that smart phone of yours to make sure it is not a rainy day. Get a picnic basket and fill it with things she loves to eat. (I know that at the riverside at Sauraha you can actually get a few restaurants to bring the food up to your picnic spot). Put your phone on airplane mode and play some good music. Pick your moment and propose.
  • Many women do not like the idea of being proposed to in a crowd, yet there are some who do. If you think your girl is the kind who would love to be surrounded by people when being proposed, go ahead with that plan. However, try to surround her with people she knows and loves, like close family and friends and not a bunch of shoppers and strangers she doesn’t know. In this scenario, it is important for you to look, stand and act presentable as well as be totally adorable. Make sure you do have champagne or wine or some drink on the side to offer to your guests. Also ask a few mates of yours to be ready with cameras. You might as well make the most out of having the guts to spill your heart out in public!
  • I once had a no fuss, no nonsense girlfriend tell me, she’d be okay with her boyfriend just writing a message on her mirror saying, “ marry me!”. Aaaawwww! Well, she would be okay with it, I wouldn’t! Seriously, if you are planning on destroying her lipstick to graffiti on and destroy her mirror as well, please make sure you also clean the bathroom, buy her new cleaning supplies, clean the house, buy some candles, prepare a yummy meal and then u can post a sticky note on your forehead for all I care. No fuss is good; no fuss can be absolutely romantic. Just make sure it looks like you’ve put some thought and effort into it. Leaving a note on the mirror?? NO NO NO!!! How would you like it, if she wrote marry me with her glitter pen on your XBOX or PS4?? (You’d like it wouldn’t you?!?!)

So, those were a few tips to get the wheels in your head turning. With the month of love just passing by, I am sure you are filled with some romanticism. So, if you are thinking about marriage, do think about the proposal and oh! Before you do go down on your knee, please be sure your girl is on the same page as you.

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Jasmine Tempa

Jasmine Tempa

Contributor at TNM Magazine

Listening to women is not the strongest weapon in our Arsenal, but what they have to say can seriously be of good use. Jasmine is a medical doctor by profession but she is also a free thinker who likes to put things in perspective. Her take on what men should know is definitely something worth knowing.