Aah! Only the bad guy could bring me out of my sabbatical. And what a nice sabbatical it has been. So what is this bad guy I keep hearing about?

The mysterious bad guy all women want to be with and all men want to be. Well, to be fair, some men just hate or ignore him. However, I heard there are quite a number of men who are most definitely talking about turning bad. And why are they doing this? Well, apparently because nice men finish last and because bad boys get all the girls.

Firstly, to set things straight, nobody likes a bad boy. I mean, who in their right minds would like an arrogant, obnoxious, rude and loud person? Nobody!!! Have you ever seen a group of girls swarm around Gulshan Grover, the self-proclaimed bad guy? Most men seem compelled to act arrogant and vain just to imitate the bad boy persona.. “Uncaring, wild and free, I got the bad boy in me.” Let me tell you, Justin Beiber, who seems like the latest good boy trying to turn bad, got dumped too. And when you try to act like someone else, the only bad boy image you carry is the one of JB! Scared?

Secondly, there are a few men who portray the bad guy image and still have women swooning around them. The number one rule to being a successful bad guy is making a transition from being a bad BOY: “Grow up!” Second, be absolutely sure of what you do. Even if God or your mother or anything in the world you hold dearest comes to obstruct you, know you will not back down. And three, you have to be good looking, seriously! Crazy-stupid-unbelievably-when-god-made-you-you-managed-to-mesmerize-even-him-wow-omg-hubahuba-good looking. That is the distinction between the likes of Heath Ledger’s Joker or Tom Hiddleston’s Loki and mmmm… Justin Beiber.

And lastly, while some women might appreciate a few words and dialogue delivery of the JOKER, he is hardly a pin up choice. Loki, on the other hand looks yummy and can go on the wall, but that is because Hiddleston is wonderful in real life (as per media) and well, because he doesn’t feel like a villain, he seems more like an antihero!

Yes, antiheros are the ones who win the hearts of women, left, right and center. Women don’t love bad boys; they love the Byronic heroes, the antihero… Rhett Butler (Gone with the wind), Wolverine (X MEN), Damon and Klaus (The Vampire Diaries), Edward Cullen (Twilight) and keeping the best for the last, Captain Jack Sparrow (Pirates of the Caribbean), but my favorite has to be Beast (Beauty and the Beast). Women love this genre of men.

Believe me, when I say, we enjoy watching bad men getting bashed up as much as you do. Our little fists do throw punches in air while we chant “Take that and that!!” Conversely, there are days, when we don’t even mind the hero getting a good bashing from our beautiful antiheros. So, why do we love these men? What is it about these men that women find so attractive, so magnetic?

There is indeed something special in these characters. Like Beast, for instance, is hardly good looking. He is a beast for crying out loud! But he is my favorite, because when I watch him, II kept thinking to myself “Aaawww!! All he needs is love and the best in him will come out!” and that is it!! Those are the very golden words that transforms an antihero into the next poster boy, the next heart throb! Our man of desire!!!

The antihero need not always be good looking. But being good looking always helps and somehow he always has a very suiting hairstyle. And please, when I say a good hairstyle, I mean something that matches your face structure and personality and not really the latest fashion in men’s hairstyle. You have no idea how many candles have been lit by women thanking god that the “Tere Naam” fad is over! Seriously, let’s not even go there! Phewww !

The reason antiheros are so loved is because they are immovable. Women are hardly the weaker sex, they leave their homes, change their identities, adapt to completely new environments and traditions, all for a man they love. Women are strong and assured. They are fighters when it comes to loving the people they love. They are self-less and compromising and deep down, we wish our men would do the same for us. Not change your identities, but love us above all else. When we see our antiheros who fall in love (ironically, the vampires like Edward Cullen and Damon Salvatore seem to be good at this) we want that love for ourselves. Love that is eternal and cannot be taken away, these men seem to be so convinced in their love for their woman; nothing is more important to them. It is the same thing reflected in Jack Sparrow who is so committed to his way of living, we wonder how great it would be if we could make that man love.

So, bottom line, women love commitment. They love men who are assured, who know what they are doing and why they are doing it. Sure, there are moments these men will cry and struggle but these are moments we live for, moments where we can save them right back! Nobody likes a bad guy, women like real men! We like men who are unafraid to be who they are, who can show their weaknesses and their strengths.

A guy with a smolder, grinning his way into a girl’s heart and dumping her the next day is like watching a bully taking candy away from a little kid. After a while, like that bully, you will be alone, saying “Nice guys finish last”, but you will definitely be alone. Perhaps being too nice can be detrimental as well. I am not advocating being nice, I am suggesting you be who you are. An antihero is the most real interpretation of human characters. They are made of flaws and strengths, just like everybody else. Be that. Be you! After all, whether you are the good, bad or ugly guy, all you need is just one perfect partner in crime.

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Jasmine Tempa

Jasmine Tempa

Contributor at TNM Magazine

Listening to women is not the strongest weapon in our Arsenal, but what they have to say can seriously be of good use. Jasmine is a medical doctor by profession but she is also a free thinker who likes to put things in perspective. Her take on what men should know is definitely something worth knowing.