WHY DID YOU GET MARRIED?
Weddings all over the world are inherently the same. Two people vow to support each other for their life and do so within the holy bounds of matrimony. How everything spans out, on the other hand, is heavily influenced by the traditions and norms of different areas and countries. The way you meet your partner, the involvement of the families, your trend of thought, the concept of marriage, the ceremonies that take place; all of these aspects differ from cultures to cultures.
Nepal has its own culture, which might not appeal to everyone equally. More often than not, it seems that one is born and bred to be married. Getting married is an inevitable benchmark in every man’s life, a destination, sort of.
It’s no wonder some see it as bliss whereas some see it as doomsday. No one really cares to ask you about why you’re getting married and you really don’t care either. Are you getting hitched so that someone can do your laundry or have you found your soul mate and want to spend the rest of your life with her?
Is it a conscious decision or are you one of the sheep in the herd? Perceptions and ideal reasoning varies when it comes to marriage. Here are a few.
AGE: Many people get married as they seem to be running out of time or at least that’s what they believe. When men tread into their late 20s or early 30s, families start panicking about their own choices and opinions of course are irrelevant. The search for the ideal wife is on and they will exploit networks you didn’t even know they had. The word is out so fast that they already have a handful of choices for you, and before you know it, photos of your soon-to-be wife will be presented to you. If you tell them that you are not ready for the wedding, the pressure simply intensifies. Refuse further and things can escalate, in extreme cases, to the point that your sexual preference is questioned.
Advice: If you are ready and you are willing to go to a few dates, good for you and your family. It’s an easy way to keep your house drama free. In case you are not interested, give them the right reasons. Maybe you are still willing to grow as a person or you want to be financially stable before starting a family of your own. Communication is key and for the majority of the times, it usually works. Losing your temper will work counter productively.
PLENTY OF FISH IN THE SEA: Yes, there are plenty of fish in the sea, but fishing is not very easy. The concept of each person having the perfect soul mate is fascinating indeed, but finding that ONE perfect soul mate is far from practical. If you are waiting to find your picture perfect wife, you might be in over your head.
Advice: Finding the perfect woman is a myth, loving the flaws that come with your loved one is what will make you happy.
FINANCIAL STABILITY: Most men tend to get married or start inculcating the prospect of marriage after they are stable financially. After having a bank balance to run a family, people hunt the nearest fish and settle down. According to many psychologists, this kind of marriage lasts.
Advice: Don’t beat yourself up about your low bank balance, you’ll never have enough money. Traditionally, it was considered as the man’s job to bring the food on the table. We are living in a generation where women are equally capable of earning a living. Let her be part of the finances which she will be more than willing to do.
MAMA’s BOY: There are different kinds of men in the market, some just look for one and some like to keep their options open before settling down. Then there is the kind most commonly referred to as a mama’s boy. It is very true our mothers tend to know us and our needs more than anyone else in the world, but don’t blame your mother if the marriage doesn’t work out.
Advice: MAN UP! After all that your mother has done for you, you should try to lessen her burden by looking for your own life partner. She’s done everything possible for you to become who you are today; you can thank her by giving her the best of daughter-in –law at least.
DESPERATE AND HOPELESS: There are men who are desperate to find the love of their life, get married and settle down. The last thing you want to do is lose hope. Not everything we think takes shape in real life, most of the things take time and patience and the same theory is applied to marriage. Many people lose hope and end up applying for matrimony via the internet or newspaper where, most often than not, the packaging belies the actual product. Online dating for few have worked out but the point is it has only worked out for a FEW.
Advice: If you have waited this long, wait a little longer. Things will eventually fall into place. Maybe destiny has a bigger plan for you. Till then do what you are doing. Also you still might be waiting because you have set a high standard for the better half in mind. Sometimes it’s best if you let karma do its thing. If you have high standards then you should work on yourself as well.
LOVE: Last but not least, many men marry because they are in love. No we are not talking about puppy love. In today’s generation people marry because they love their better half and they think they can’t function without her and to be honest that’s what really matters at the end. If you find yourself wondering why you should get married, think about everything, about life without your soon to be wife and if you think your existence is perishable without her in your life then there you go! You married because you love her.
Advice: Don’t go for appearance, as a book cannot be judged by its cover. Every human being is like a sapling, if the sapling isn’t nourished well the fruit and the flower which it will bear will not bloom to its fullest. Build patience, build communication and the rest will all be rainbows and sunshine.