Jokes apart, if you want to be a good boyfriend, son, brother, friend, partner, one-night-stand, or gay best friend you need to be have a good grasp of Period 101.

Underlying assumptions about periods
are widespread because, as a culture,
we still get a bit freaked out by talking about it openly. We have come a long
way from shunning menstruating
women to spend their periods under a staircase or in the goat pen. However, most families still have a long way to go. We’re talking about families that disallow menstruating women from entering the kitchen or puja kothas. Much of this has
to do with the generation gap, and to be completely honest this is a decent outcome considering the way the older generation was brought up. On the bright side, things are looking up.

Regardless of how open the society is in this matter, one thing is for certain, the male homosapien will remain shrouded in confusion when it comes to their PMSing partner. Here is a guide that can hopefully shed some light for the struggling male to help you get through her PMS and hopefully devise a defensive battle plan.

PMS IS REAL AND HERE ARE THE SYMPTOMS

PMS stands for Premenstrual Syndrome. Contrary to what lousy jokes on the television tell you, not every woman has Premenstrual Syndrome symptoms. But for those who do, it can be a real day (or three,) ruiner. With approximately 85% of menstruating women reporting at least one PMS symptom, it’s a phenomenon that you really need to wrap your mind around. It looks different for everyone, but some of the most common symptoms are swollen or tender breasts, upset stomach, feeling tired, depression, anxiety, changes in appetite and headache. It is real, it is not just in her head.

DON’T POINT OUT HER PMS SYMPTOMS

Women can be touchy about being labeled a raving lunatic for a few days a month, and very few will admit
that they’re affected. If you notice her behavior getting out of control and you feel the need to mention it, just don’t blame the PMS. Assuming that her behavior is strictly due to her raging hormones, will discount the possibility that her feelings are valid, and will therefore only make her angrier.

REDUCE SOCIAL ACTIVITIES

Feeling bloated, sore and uncomfortable doesn’t make for an enchanting evening, so don’t be surprised if your lady doesn’t live up to her usual social butterfly standards around this time of the month. It’s always a good idea to check with her before confirming social plans that include her, and it’s even more vital when her body and hormones have a mind of their own.

Be especially aware of events that might require her to dress up, a lot of women get a little bloated, while some can gain up to five pounds in the week before their period, which means you will probably be subject to wardrobe mayhem and the “Do I look fat in this” extravaganza.

ACCOMMODATE HER DIET CHANGES

Women often seek comfort food, carbs and chocolate when they’re PMS-ing regardless of their otherwise strict diet. Don’t be surprised if your girlfriend manages to scarf down half a pizza — no really, don’t be surprised — and don’t comment on her new dietary choices.

It isn’t up to you to monitor what she’s eating, and the best you can do right now is stay out of her way, and maybe keep the kitchen a little more stocked than usual.

TAKE ON SOME OF HER CHORES

If you’re lucky, you might get away with a woman who is simply a little bossier than usual; whether she’s asking you to run to the store to pick up something or help her with house hold work, if her chore list is within reason and physically possible, just do it. The very last thing you want to do is introduce any opportunity for conflict where it isn’t absolutely vital.

Your otherwise perfectly capable girlfriend might just be asking because she needs to feel looked after or because she doesn’t feel up to doing something herself. Either way, you need to weigh the benefits and consequences of starting an argument about taking
out the trash or some other mundane activity, and decide if denying a request on principle is worth more to you than earning a thank you and some peace and quiet.

This tip doesn’t just apply to what you do; it also applies to what you don’t
do. Simple things around the house
that usually get on her nerves, like the never-ending toilet seat debate and the clothes in the hamper debacle, should be avoided when you know she’s already on high alert for yelling opportunities.

SIMPLE THINGS TO DO WHEN IT’S THAT TIME OF THE MONTH FOR HER

• Get her chocolates, lots of chocolates.
• Remember to leave the toilet seat down.
• Be patient if she is being irrational.
• Suggest doing anything she wants to do, then do it. Even if you have to power through a Nicholas Sparks movie three times over.
• Have sex with her and refrain from showing any signs of disgust while you do it